• Jun 18, 2025

First Session - What to Expect

From the very first session, the intention is to give you a genuine experience of connection, a sense of hope, and a clear path forward. You'll also have your first experience of Imago Relationship Therapy's unique way of communicating—the Imago Dialogue.

Getting to Know Each Other

The first session is about more than just therapy; it's about building trust and rapport between us. We'll take the time to get to know each other because I want to ensure that we're a good fit for working together. Therapy is most effective when you feel safe, supported, and understood. Not everyone gels with everyone, and that's perfectly okay. It's important that you feel comfortable with me as a therapist and that we both feel confident in working together.

Gathering Information

During the session, we'll also cover some practical matters. I'll ask about your relationship history, how long you've been together, any children, and your past experiences—whether they be with previous relationships or family dynamics. I'll also want to hear about what brought you to counselling, and what you're hoping to achieve in your relationship.

We'll explore your "love story"—how you met, what drew you to each other, and the positive aspects of your relationship. My approach to therapy draws from many modalities, including Gottman Method, Emotion-Focused Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and Mindfulness. However, my primary approach is Imago Relationship Therapy because I've found it to be the most effective in creating transformative change.

Imago Dialogue: The Heart of Our Work

The cornerstone of our work together will be the Imago Dialogue process. You'll be learning a new way to communicate with each other, one that's designed to create connection, understanding, and healing. At first, learning this new approach can feel challenging, but with consistent practice, it will become second nature.

During your first session, we'll engage in the Imago Dialogue with an appreciation exercise. This may feel unfamiliar, especially if you've come to counselling feeling distant or in conflict. However, I encourage you to give it a try. Experience tells me that, no matter how uncomfortable you may feel at first, it won't take long before you start feeling more relaxed and connected.

The Power of Appreciation

The appreciation exercise is often enough to shift the dynamic between partners and open the door to a more compassionate and loving view of each other. Many couples are moved to tears during this exercise, even before sharing anything. This reflects how deeply we all yearn for meaningful connection.

Why Appreciations Matter:

Imago therapy incorporates appreciation exercises for a very good reason. Scientifically, they help rewire the brain by creating new neural pathways. Focusing on what's already good in your relationship helps counteract the brain's natural tendency toward negativity. You've likely heard of the power of gratitude—studies show that simply writing down three things you're grateful for each day can improve mental health. This principle of focusing on the positive applies to relationships as well.

The more we focus on what's going well, the stronger it becomes. What we practice gets stronger, and by practicing appreciation, we start to overcome the brain's negative bias.

What You Can Expect at the End of the First Session

By the end of your first session, my hope is that you'll feel a renewed sense of hope and commitment to the work ahead. You will have gotten a glimpse into the relationship you dream of and realised that achieving it is absolutely possible. You'll also have had your first experience with the Imago Dialogue, and we'll have started to explore your relationship dynamics in a safe, structured way.

The first session is designed to set up the work to come. While we won't be addressing the deeper issues in detail during this session, I want to reassure you that they won't be ignored. The purpose of the first session is to create a positive experience and build trust, so you'll feel more comfortable and engaged in the work ahead. The deeper issues—such as your triggers, patterns, and past emotional baggage—will be explored and worked through in subsequent sessions, at a pace that feels right for you.

A Word of Encouragement

I commend you for taking the step to seek help and for committing to your relationship. Therapy is not always easy, but it's a brave and important choice, and I'm honoured to be a part of your journey.

Important Note:

If you're coming to counselling due to trauma, such as infidelity, my approach will be different. In these cases, our focus will first be on healing and rebuilding trust. If that resonates with you, please take a look at my blog, "Healing from the Affair," to get a sense of how I work in this delicate area.

With love,
Jiselle