Could your relationship do with a tune-up?
We don't think twice about getting our cars serviced. We know that if we don't, they will eventually break down and stop running. As our cars are generally a major investment for us, it motivates us to take care of them. Why do we not feel the same about maintaining and servicing our relationships, which we have so much invested in? Just like with our cars, if our relationships break down, the costs can become astronomical. Separation and divorce are very painful paths to undertake, with huge costs on so many levels – financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Even if the relationship doesn't end, an unhappy marriage or partnership can be a very lonely place to live in and can have dire consequences for our emotional and physical well-being. It is well-documented how stress impacts our health. Anxiety, depression, and even suicidal tendencies are common experiences when locked in the pain of a dysfunctional relationship. So, learning what it takes to maintain your relationship, your greatest investment, so that it thrives would seem a no-brainer, don't you agree?
In the next few weeks, I will be sharing with you my Relationship Hot Tips. Tips that, if you put into practice, will immediately start to breathe new life into your relationship. These are the very same tips that I share in the counseling room and in the Getting The Love You Want workshops.
Tip no. 1: "The Relationship" needs to be your number one priority.
This is so important, and I see my couples nodding in agreement and recognition as the truth of this dawns upon them. We are all energy beings, and our relationship only exists because the two of us are together. Energy needs to flow into the relationship if it is to grow and thrive, and if it is to be a place where we experience the connection that we all crave. We come together in the high of the romantic phase, the initial stage of most love relationships. During this phase, it is natural for our relationship to be our main priority. But with the natural progression of all relationships, this priority can shift.
For example, as life brings new responsibilities like children, work commitments, hobbies, sports, and friends, they can consume the energy of the relationship. With no energy flowing into it, the relationship begins to wither and die.
It might seem natural that with the advent of children, they would become the number one priority, but this is not the case. I have seen many couples who have made their children the center of their universe, and in doing so, have inadvertently neglected their relationship. While it's essential to be good parents and give attention to your children, it should not come at the expense of your relationship with your partner. Besides, if you asked your children what they would want, you know the answer – your children want happy parents who are together. Modeling a healthy, loving relationship for your children is crucial if they are to experience such a relationship for themselves as they grow and enter the adult world of love.
When the relationship is neglected, it becomes vulnerable to problems and conflicts. Partners may start feeling disconnected, unappreciated, or unloved. This can lead to resentment, unhappiness, and eventually, a breakdown in communication. To avoid this, it's crucial to consciously make your relationship a top priority.
One way to do this is by setting aside quality time for each other. Schedule regular date nights, where you focus solely on each other and your relationship. Put away distractions like phones and work-related matters during this time. Engage in activities you both enjoy or try something new together. This dedicated time helps to maintain and strengthen the emotional connection between partners. Communication is also key. Talk openly and honestly with each other about your feelings, needs, and desires. Be attentive and actively listen to what your partner is saying. Avoid blaming or criticizing each other but instead, focus on expressing your emotions constructively.
Additionally, small gestures of appreciation can go a long way. Show gratitude for the little things your partner does and acknowledge their efforts. Feeling valued and appreciated fosters a positive atmosphere in the relationship.
Remember that a relationship requires ongoing effort and nurturing. It's not just about the big gestures but also about the consistency of love and attention you show each other on a daily basis.
In the upcoming newsletters, I will be sharing more Relationship Hot Tips that will help you further strengthen your connection, improve communication, and navigate challenges together. Investing time and effort in your relationship is truly a no-brainer when you consider the rewards of a loving, fulfilling partnership.
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One great thing you can do for your relationship would be to attend the next "Getting The Love You Want" Workshop for couples coming up in September 22-24. Attending this workshop is probably my hottest tip.
Read the blog about May's workshop.
I am offering all my past and present clients the super early bird price, a saving of $100. I am available to answer any questions you may have about the workshop.