• Feb 6, 2024

Turtles & Tigers Navigating Relationship Dynamics

In the intricate dance of relationships, conflict often prompts us to revert to familiar defensive strategies. Whether it's withdrawing into our shells like a turtle or charging forward like a tiger, our responses are deeply rooted in the experiences that shaped us during childhood.

The Turtle and The Tiger: Different Paths to Connection

Within the Imago framework, we identify two archetypes: the Turtle, who withdraws and contains energy, and the Tiger, who expands energy by moving towards their partner. Surprisingly, both the Turtle and the Tiger seek the same outcome – a reconnection with their partner. However, their unique adaptations to perceived danger can inadvertently drive them further apart.

It's crucial to recognise that both the Turtle and Tiger are expressing a protest against the disconnection causing them anxiety. The Turtle manages this anxiety by battening down the hatches, while the Tiger copes by moving towards their partner with an energetic burst, which may manifest as getting loud, nagging, or a persistent desire to communicate.

Understanding the Brain's Role in Conflict

Our brains are finely tuned to keep us safe by scanning the environment for potential threats, especially within our relationships. Subtle cues, like a roll of the eye or a change in tone, can trigger the brain's alarm system, initiating the flight, freeze, fight response. In the realm of Imago, this translates to becoming a Turtle or a Tiger.

Breaking the Reactive Cycle with Imago Therapy

Unpacking the reactive cycle in our relationships unveils profound insights. This snippet merely scratches the surface of what the Getting The Love You Want workshop delves into. Couples gain an understanding of each other's brains and learn to calm each other's nervous systems. The Imago Dialogue, a fundamental skill of Imago Therapy, facilitates the shift from reactivity to a new way of being together. Check the workshop FAQs

Becoming Brain Tamers and Cultivating Connection

As couples embrace these tools, they become adept at taming the brain, breaking destructive patterns, and fostering a deep, fulfilling connection. Witnessing this transformation is a powerful testament to the effectiveness of Imago Therapy. I invite you to secure one of the remaining spots at the February workshop and embark on the journey of becoming a brain tamer, transforming your relationship into a source of safety and connection.