Patterns of Marriage Breakdown
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Communication and Miscommunication
Sometimes couples and partners in relationships feel they can't say what they really want to express.
Often they feel their partner is not listening to them.
Differences in dealing with issues and disagreements when they arise can spiral into silence,
shouting and behaviour that make the situation worse rather than better.
Genuine attempts to resolve issues sometimes sink couples deeper into conflict and fears
for the future of their relationship.
Lack of Intimacy
Sex may be infrequent or not at all. There may be a lack of affection between a couple and they
may have stopped reaching out with tenderness and love.
These come in various guises and forms. By addressing intimacy and trust through relationship counselling,
sexual problems are often resolved and overcome.
This can lead to deeper feelings of intimacy than either partner imagined could be possible.
A Partner Having an Affair
This happens when one or other partner looks for intimacy with someone else. An affair can be physical,
emotional or both.
Counselling will explore if recovery is possible and the focus will be on understanding what needs to happen
for healing to occur and trust to be rebuilt. Both partners are encouraged to engage in the process of unpacking
their relationship to help make sense of the what has happened.
This may be difficult, requires courage and taking risks, but it can be done.
An affair as painful as it is is often a catalyst for the couple to have a deeper and more loving relationship
they ever imagined possible.
Personal Issues that Affect Both Partners
Sometimes when one partner has problems such as depression, addiction, grief, trauma, and other deep-seated issues,
it can affect both partners and the relationship. It is possible for these issues to be healed within the relationship
Love each other but not "in love anymore"
The relationship has lost its spark. A couple may take each other for granted and feel bored with the relationship.
After many years together couples can feel like they are just friends rather than intimate partners.
They may be feeling stuck or even lonely.
Navigating second or third marriages and blended families.
Step parenting and blended families can be very challenging and can put a lot of pressure on a new relationship.
Couples often need help to define their role with each other's children..
Relationship in transition, moving to next stage such as:
- Getting married
- Moving in together
- Starting a family
Making sense of a relationship breakdown
Many individuals seek counselling at the end of a relationship.
They want to understand their behavioural patterns and emotional triggers.
They want to learn from the past so that they can let go of it and create a different future for themselves.
Broken Heart Recovery
At this painful time counselling will support the individual as they recover and heal and assist them to move forward.
Support to leave an abusive or dysfunctional relationship
It can be difficult to leave a dysfunctional or abusive relationship.
You can feel stuck and disempowered.
Reaching out and getting the necessary support is crucial if you are in this situation.
Counselling is about empowering the individual to make positive decisions for their future.
At these difficult times it's easy to forget what a healthy loving relationship should feel like.
It is essential to re-establish your boundaries and clarify your values, so that you can reconnect to what is important in life.
Learning to be successfully single
Coming out of a long-term relationship can be scary.
Counselling can help us face our fears and limiting beliefs and encourage us to embrace
the next phase of lives with optimism and courage.
Should I stay or should I go? Considering divorce or separation
Couples or individuals will often go to a marriage and relationship counsellor as a last resort,
when they are at the very brink of divorce.
Marriage counselling can help with exploring all the options so that you have more clarity about
what is the best outcome for you, your family and the relationship.
It can be about closure, letting go and separating amicably or it may be about making sure no stone
is left unturned before making such a major life changing decision.
It is more beneficial and much more effective, if couples consider seeing a relationship or marriage
counsellor when the cracks first begin to show, and before the damaging patterns become habit and more
difficult to untangle and change.
Not all marriages or relationships are meant to go on and marriage counselling can provide closure, support and understanding to both partners.
However if two people are willing to explore openly the issues that brought them to this point reconciliation
is always possible.
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