Marriage Counselling

Also called couple counselling, relationship therapy or relationship coaching

Could your relationship benefit from professional marriage counselling here on the Gold Coast? If you want a private, confidential counselling session with an experienced professional, call today for a no-obligation discussion about how counselling may benefit you, your partner or family.

How does the DREAM turn into a SCREAM?
Why do we end up in conflict with the one we love?
How can something that started out so good end up so bad?

What is marriage counselling?

Marriage counselling is a form of therapy that helps couples that are in a relationship. They can be married, defacto, or not living together. They might be at the start of a new relationship or have been together for many years. They may be seeking guidance before they take the next big step or they may be about to get married.

The term 'couple' includes anyone in a relationship whether they are gay, lesbian or heterosexual. Couple counselling is about addressing and understandingthe inevitable conflicts that arise in our relationships and is for any couple that wants to improve and enrich their relationship.

Sometimes marriage counselling is about helping a couple work out whether they should stay together or separate.

Effective marriage counselling gives couples the tools to:

• Communicate better,
• Negotiate differences and problem solve
• And even argue in a healthier way.

Marriage and Relationship Counselling: What You Should Know

Relationship counselling is a specialised area. A good marriage counsellor will have trained extensively in relationship theory and will have many years experience working in the field.

Professional Marriage and Relationship Counselling at Innercalm Counselling

Jiselle Saraghi began her career as a relationship counsellor many years ago when she undertook specialised training at Relationships Australia in Victoria. She has worked in the field of personal growth and counselling for more than 20 years both in private practice and within organisations. She is highly qualified to assist you with any relationship issues you may be experiencing.

Jiselle is committed to helping individuals and couples recognise their patterns, heal their wounds, move towards growth and embrace joyful, meaningful lives.

Jiselle continues to immerse herself in training and professional development in the field of relational theory and therapy. She is an Advanced Clinician in Imago Relationship Therapy. This is the highest level of certification in Imago and involves many hours of training and workshop attendance to achieve this status. The Imago Relationship Therapy model is a highly successful form of couple therapy which has the potential to achieve amazing results for any couple committed to ongoing and lasting change. Even relationships that may seem worn at the edges and beyond hope can be enriched and transformed by Imago.

Why Do People Seek Marriage Counselling or Relationship Therapy?

1. Communication and Miscommunication– Sometimes couples and partners in relationships feel they can't say what they really want to express.
   Often they feel their partner is not listening to them.
2. Conflict Resolution– Differences in dealing with issues and disagreements when they arise can spiral into silence, shouting and behaviour that make the situation worse rather than better. Genuine attempts to resolve issues sometimes sink couples deeper into conflict and fears for the future of their relationship.
3. Lack of Intimacy– Sex may be infrequent or not at all. There may be a lack of affection between a couple and they may have stopped reaching out with tenderness and love.
4. Sexual Issues– These come in various guises and forms. By addressing intimacy and trust through relationship counselling, sexual problems are often resolved and overcome. This can lead to deeper feelings of intimacy than either partner imagined could be possible.
5. A Partner Having an Affair– This happens when one or other partner looks for intimacy with someone else. An affair can be physical, emotional or both. Counselling will explore if recovery is possible and the focus will be on understanding what needs to happen for healing to occur and trust to be rebuilt. Both partners are encouraged to engage in the process of unpacking their relationship to help make sense of the what has happened. This may be difficult, requires courage and taking risks, but it can be done.
   An affair as painful as it is is often a catalyst for the couple to have a deeper and more loving relationship they ever imagined possible.
6. Personal Issues that Affect Both Partners– sometimes when one partner has problems such as depression, addiction, grief, trauma, and other deep-seated issues, it can affect both partners and the relationship. It is possible for these issues to be healed within the relationship
7. Love each other but not "in love anymore". The relationship has lost its spark. A couple may take each other for granted and feel bored with the relationship– After many years together couples can feel like they are just friends rather than intimate partners. They may be feeling stuck or even lonely.
8. Navigating second or third marriages and blended families. Step parenting and blended families can be very challenging and can put a lot of pressure on a new relationship. Couples often need help to define their role with each other’s children.
9. Relationship in transition, moving to next stage such as:
   • Getting married
   • Moving in together
   • Starting a family
   • Retiring
10. Making sense of a relationship breakdown.- Many individuals seek counselling at the end of a relationship. They want to understand their behavioural patterns and emotional triggers. They want to learn from the past so that they can let go of it and create a different future for themselves.
11. Broken Heart Recovery- At this painful time counselling will support the individual as they recover and heal and assist them to move forward.
12. Support to leave an abusive or dysfunctional relationship. It can be difficult to leave a dysfunctional or abusive relationship. You can feel stuck and disempowered. Reaching out and getting the necessary support is crucial if you are in this situation. Counselling is about empowering the individual to make positive decisions for their future. At these difficult times it’s easy to forget what a healthy loving relationship should feel like. It is essential to re-establish your boundaries and clarify your values, so that you can reconnect to what is important in life.
13. Learning to be successfully single. Coming out of a long-term relationship can be scary. Counselling can help us face our fears and limiting beliefs and encourage us to embrace the next phase of lives with optimism and courage.
14. Should I stay or should I go? Considering divorce or separation***- Couples or individuals will often go to a marriage and relationship counsellor as a last resort, when they are at the very brink of divorce.
    Marriage counselling can help with exploring all the options so that you have more clarity about what is the best outcome for you, your family and the relationship. It can be about closure, letting go and separating amicably or it may be about making sure no stone is left unturned before making such a major life changing decision.
    *** It is more beneficial and much more effective, if couples consider seeing a relationship or marriage counsellor when the cracks first begin to show, and before the damaging patterns become habit and more difficult to untangle and change.
    *** Not all marriages or relationships are meant to go on and marriage counselling can provide closure, support and understanding to both partners.
    *** However if two people are willing to explore openly the issues that brought them to this point reconciliation is always possible.

Who is marriage and relationship counselling for?

• Couples and Individuals who want a better relationship with their partners and or themselves.
• Counselling and therapy is about personal growth, gaining insight and increasing self-awareness.

Innercalm Counselling's approach to marriage and relationship Counselling

The main therapy model utilised by Jiselle is Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT), which was developed more than 30 years ago by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt.

Jiselle also draws upon her many years of experience working in the field and is influenced by the work of John Gottman, ACT (Acceptance and Commitment therapy) and Susan Johnson's Emotion Focused model.

Mindfulness provides the framework for all Jiselle's counselling work.
While mindfulness teaches us how to transform our lives by learning to live in the ‘here and now’, Imago Relationship Therapy transforms our relationships in the same way by teaching us to how to become more conscious in our relationships.

 

What is Imago Therapy?

Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) is a transformational method of therapy that uses concepts from a range of psychological theories and therapeutic practices.

The word Imago comes from the Latin word image and implies that we all carry within us an unconscious image of our mate that we have been forming since birth. We construct this image from all our life experiences but particularly from the positive and negative experiences we have had with our primary care givers. This is why we often recognise traits of our mothers or fathers in our partners.

Imago Relationship Therapy engages the couple in a structured process where it becomes possible to experience connection with each other. When connection is experienced it goes hand in hand with feeling safer in the relationship.With connection and safety established healing becomes possible. A huge focus of Imago is coaching couples to remove negativity from their relationships and to put an emphasis on seeing and appreciating each other for the person they are.

Harville Hendrix the founder of IRT has a famous quote –

"Conflict in our relationships is our growth trying to happen".

Viewed this way the conflict or the inevitable power struggle that you may be currently experiencing in your relationship becomes something to be welcomed. Reframing your current difficulties as growth opportunities for your own personal and mutual development means that your relationship becomes a place of healing and growth rather than a battlefield.

Imago loves to say that even if it doesn't feel like it we are with the best teacher to ensure our personal growth and heal our childhood wounds.

Imago is a highly effective form of relationship and couples therapy that has positively affected thousands of couples around the world.

If you would like to experience how an Imago Relationship Therapy session will benefit your relationship call 0409 517 804

What to expect from Marriage Counselling at Innercalm Counselling:

• Reconnection and healing are possible from the very first session.
• A safe non-judgemental environment to explore the issues that brought you to counselling
• An emphasis placed on re-establishing safety and connection.
• Learning tools and skills that will help you communicate with each other more effectively.
• Mastery of techniques that will repair your relationship and deepen your connection to each other.

Bonus benefits

• A rekindling of romance and renewed passion
• Personal growth
• Healing from childhood wounds
• Increased goodwill towards each other
• Improvement in all your relationships especially your children and family members
• Increase in overall sense of well being, happiness and life satisfaction
• Renewed creativity and energy for all facets of your life

Contact Jiselle now to learn how you can transform your current relationship into the relationship of your dreams!