“The moment you realise you have a choice everything changes.” Geneen Roth
I have been struggling with a severe case of procrastination. However As I am back in Melbourne next week, today is the day to let you know what’s on for the Melbourne Innercalm Program. I have removed myself from distractions and taken up residence in my favourite coffee shop to write to you. Two lattes and two hours later, my emails are finally cleared but I have made little progress with this blog.
Even though I actually like writing these newsletters/blogs this one for some reason has been particularly hard to get started. I have found myself a multitude of seemingly important jobs that have demanded my immediate attention. As I write this there are now no more clothes to wash or hang out and I am proud to say there is no dog poo to be found anywhere on our lawn -front or back.
The procrastination experts say the important thing to do to break this deadlock of non-activity is to just begin. Take that first step, write that first word or make that first phone call. However this blog is not really about how I overcame this bout of procrastination but about what I believe is the deeper reason behind my “stuckness”.
After some reflection I now recognise that what has been getting in my way the last couple of weeks is the VOICE that it has taken up residency in my head. The VOICE is that inner critic part of me that is running a continual negative commentary. It is quick to point out everything that is wrong with me ranging from my mothering to my writing skills to how I look in my jeans. I can now see that I’ve been stuck because I’ve been listening to this insistent VOICE.
Geneen Roth (one of my favourite authors- Women, Food and God) writes that the biggest obstacle to self-transformation is this critic in our head. I know this to be true. With my counselling clients the work at some stage will be about identifying this voice and finding ways to manage it. We often have a bit of fun with giving the VOICE a name. One of my clients has an inner Boris who gives her a hard time.
The VOICE isn’t good or bad; it is just a part of me.
We all have this voice whatever name we want to give it. It served us as a developmental necessity for our safety, but unfortunately for most of us it keeps bossing us around long after it has served its purpose.
The problem with the VOICE is not that it exists but that we listen to it. It usually has a way of speaking to us that we wouldn’t tolerate from anyone else, but the most awful part is that it tricks us into believing that it speaks the truth.
The first step to free myself from the stranglehold that the VOICE has had over me was simply to bring awareness to its existence. Recognising it is here allows me to step back and unhook from its unhelpful messages and remind myself that this VOICE isn’t actually who I am. Named and ‘outed’ the VOICE begins to lose power and its hold on me lessens.
Freedom comes when we recognise that we always have a choice. We can simply choose not to believe these messages. One of my meditation clients shared how she would turn to her VOICE and declare out loud that what she was hearing was “RUBBISH”.
So despite the VOICE – this blog is almost written, even if it is a little late and I have laboured over it longer than usual.
In conclusion I am loving life on the Gold Coast even though I confess to still being on the emotional roller coaster. The beautiful sunny autumn days have been delightful but being the new kid on the block, starting again, making new friends, the challenges of setting up a business and just not knowing how this will all evolve, has probably played a part in the appearance of the VOICE.
I am looking forward to seeing many of you next week. I am proud to say that my Melbourne practice has taken on new clients each visit. I am yet to find a suitable vacuum shop for my Gold Coast practice but I am planning to run a 5-week mindfulness for beginners group in Broadbeach in the near future.
If you have time I really appreciate your sharing and responses to anything I have written. If you feel like sharing in a public forum there is the Innercalminc support group.
One of my intentions for the future is to become more modern and keep this group and my business page up to date.
Please like my page, apparently good things are supposed to happen.
Golden light, many blessings and abundant joy